"O.K. So you're wondering, 'Hey Big B, what's with the keyboard you're 
holding in your shot with the Gold Fear award?'  Well, for those who 
didn't read my post from Joe Lyons' place in sunny SB back in October, 
here's the dirt.  You see, Joe E-Mailed me a little over a year ago and 
we've been cyberpals since.  Joe's quite the dude, and knows how to 
party, so much so that he E-Mailed me a message one day that read the 
following: 

        'callmespiltbeernkeybardspacebardesn'twrkandsmeletters' 

I was hysterical, it was so funny!  So I call Joe and he explains that 
he dropped beer on the keyboard and now it's shot.  We vowed that when I 
was in SB, we would go pick Joe up a new keyboard so he would be back in 
business.  Well Saturday night, after visiting with the Gusses and a 
FABULOSO dinner at Roy, Joe invited us back to his place for drinks, 
tunes and such, and while there I *attempted* a post from Joe's PC to 
the List.  It was quite a challenge with no space bar and many keys not 
working; I had to be quite creative.  Just after I sent my post, knowing 
he'd have a new keyboard within a day, Joe figured, 'what the ****' and 
proceeded to pour more beer on his keyboard!  Cool!  Then, he went all 
the way, took out a scissors and snipped the cord from the keyboard!  
Later, as we were leaving, Joe presented me with the lifeless unit (hey, 
watch it!) and asked that we give it a 'proper burial' and leave it in 
the middle of the road to be viciously run over by an unknowing 
vehicle.  I could not let my friend down.   

Steve and I proceeded to make our way back up the street to El Prado, 
where the Gold record lay, in my room, in safety.  We took our 
respective pics with Fear and the keyboard.  What a way to remember such 
a fantastic weekend!!!  Fellow Listee Ameena and I also got in a couple 
shots right in front of the hotel (not to be used later as evidence, 
however), and Steve's rental (no, it wasn't a Neon, but Danielle 
Bertone-Holt's rental was, except it was red, not purple).  I also have 
a shot of myself giving the keyboard one last stomp just to be sure it 
was totally lifeless before sending it to the street.  At last the 
moment came.  The keyboard was placed, with care, on the pavement, as we 
wait in vigil.  Then, as if almost perfectly timed, out of the blackness 
of the 3 AM sky came a car, headed up the street, right for the 
keyboard.  I almost couldn't look as the impending collision approached, 
but the car avoided the keyboard by mere inches.  I now hold what 
certainly is the LAST photo of Joe's keyboard as we know it, just as the 
car was about to run it over!  Perhaps this photo may make it up on the 
TOAD Gold page.  Perhaps not.  We'll just have to see... 

The next morning, the keyboard was gone.  Our deed had been done.  Joe 
was pleased. On Monday morning, I met Joe at the local Staples, and we 
picked out a slick new keyboard.  Now all Joe needs to do is learn how 
to type...=8^) 

Do what you can go meet Steve Panhorst and get a shot with the Gold 
FEAR.  Remember, it's for ALL of us, and you won't regret it!"

Big Bar in CT 
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